Doctor's Orders

This morning I thought about what I'd have for breakfast that would comply with my doctor's orders of no caffeine, alcohol, sugar or wheat. Not a problem--an organic corn tortilla topped with thinly-sliced ham, a perfect sunny-side-up egg, and some papaya/mango salsa. Delicious. And I'll have an orange a little later.

As I puttered around the kitchen I looked at other things I have in the morning. Corn bran--yes, it works. Kashi? Nope, made with wheat ingredients. Certainly not Shredded Wheat. Oh, not my whole wheat tortillas, which means no more egg white spinach wraps from Starbucks. Oh. No whole wheat spaghetti, which I have a big bowl of in the fridge to be topped with all sorts of yummy things.

My husband came into the kitchen and commented on my long face. "So many things have wheat in them!" I lamented.

"Oh, you're not really going to listen to her are you? No alcohol, no caffeine, no sugar, no wheat? Where am I going to live while you're doing this? I've been through you not having alcohol and caffeine, and you're a bear. You're horrible on the weekends when you don't get your Starbucks fix!"

I didn't point out that most of the times when I wasn't having alcohol and caffeine I also happened to be PREGNANT, during which time I was a rolling ball of freakout hormones.

But a little glimmer of hope flickered. My husband was telling me I have to have caffeine and alcohol! He loves me, he really loves me!

Okay, before you smack me up side my head, I promise I'm not going to disregard Dr. Kooky's orders (though my sisters-in-law told me last night to ignore her, that she's nuts and I should see a different doctor). Here's what I'm going to do:

This week: Cut my alcohol & caffeine consumption in half, increase my water intake by 100%; cut out all sweets and deserts, except for my Fiber One bars (I have about two or three a week) and Tic Tacs; become aware of wheat in foods and choose something without wheat whenever possible.

You didn't really think I'd be able to go cold turkey, did you?